HEALTH: Break Free From Shame: The Verywell Mind Podcast

lunes, 6 de junio de 2022

Break Free From Shame: The Verywell Mind Podcast

Break Free From Shame With Actor/TV Host Terry Crews

Amy Morin, LCSW
Verywell Mind Editor-in-Chief

On today's episode I talk with Terry Crews, an NFL player-turned-actor and TV host. He has appeared on shows like "Everybody Hates Chris" and "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," and hosted shows like "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and "America's Got Talent."

He's the author of a new book called "Tough." In it, he shares stories from his childhood, his experiences in the NFL, and how his idea of real toughness has evolved over the years.

Anytime I hear the word 'should,' I know shame is involved."

— Terry Crews

Why Terry Is Mentally Strong

Terry had a rough childhood. He grew up witnessing domestic violence. He learned that being tough meant acting like he didn't have feelings and showing that he was strong enough to beat people up. Being in the NFL reinforced some of these ideas.

Over time, however, he recognized that it takes a lot more strength to talk about feelings than it does to hide them. And he became aware of how much shame he carried around due to his addiction to pornography.

Terry created positive changes in his life when he sought treatment, began talking about his feelings, and worked on healing himself and his marriage. Now, he's sharing his journey toward developing real mental strength.

What You'll Hear on the Show

Why Terry relied on extrinsic rewards in the past and how he developed intrinsic motivation
The event that made him decide to get help for himself
How Terry developed an addiction to pornography and how he kept it hidden from most people
What Terry has learned about shame and the antidote to shame
Why he's sharing his story with other people
Why he came forward about being sexually assaulted
The best piece of advice he ever received
How Terry stopped being a people-pleaser
What he learned about himself in therapy

What You'll Learn About Mental Health and Mental Strength

When people experience shame, they often view their behavior as a moral weakness. Consequently, they treat themselves harshly and struggle to create positive change.

Shame and addiction often go hand-in-hand. Fortunately, there are things you can do to break free from shame and improve your mental health.

This is the thing about being self-righteous–anyone can be self-righteous, which blew my mind. You could be Black and self-righteous. You can be gay and self-righteous. You could be poor, you could be rich. You could be any ethnicity, any place. You could be male or female. But that self-righteousness, it allows you to do the most heinous, evil things to other people because you feel correct."

— Terry Crews